Come on get happy!

In February I made a choice to take control of something in my life. So much is happening that is out of my control I needed to take charge of something. I chose weight loss and a healthier lifestyle. As I’ve written about my journey with the ‘fad’ diet I learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of. For as difficult as it is for me to say, I’m even a little proud of my accomplishment. I’ve lost over 20 lbs. since I started. This is the healthiest I’ve been since I moved out from my parents’ house at age 19, maybe even more so.

While I’m happy with my progress I’m still working on losing about 8 more lbs. to be my ideal weight for my height. This is where my own self-doubting and insecure nature comes into play. I’m utterly terrified I’m going to somehow screw up all I’ve accomplished. If I go more than one day without exercising (just walking or karate nothing crazy like the gym hahaha) the guilt and shame come creeping in. All I can think about is that I’m sure I’ve gained back weight, I’m going to have to eat less and work that much harder to lose anything more. But then I don’t eat less and I don’t work harder. I’m still within my calorie count thanks to my handy dandy phone ap. But then I worry if I’ve under estimated how much I’ve eaten and how do I know I only had a single serving and not a serving and a half?!!

Seriously, I’ve finally stuck to something, had a great outcome and I can’t even fully friggin enjoy it!!  What gives, you screwed up brain?! You lost weight, you’re in escrow for a house, be happy and stay happy…for once!!

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7 comments

  1. natashaski · July 7, 2015

    20 pounds! Congratulations!
    Take a photo of your awesome self, print it out, and post it somewhere you can see it. Make sure you’re smiling!
    (Go on an adventure with a friend and tell them to snap the pic at a good time).

    Next, remember that you don’t lose 8 pounds with one exercise session, so one cupcake isn’t going to make you gain 8 pounds, either.

    Right down some of your “wins” and go back to read them when you don’t feel like you’re winning. I have no doubt you’re making much greater strides than you realize. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jinx · July 31, 2015

      Thank you!!! Yes, I do try to remind myself of that. I like your idea and will give that a try as well 🙂

      Like

  2. loveandlowcarbs · July 7, 2015

    Try and not overthink it! We all deserve days off. I personally follow the 80/20 rule and it seems to work out pretty well! 🙂

    Like

    • Jinx · July 31, 2015

      Yes, that has become my rule. I look over my week and if I’ve been “good” the majority of days, then hey, that’s a win 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Just Plain Ol' Vic · July 8, 2015

    You should give yourself credit for your accomplishment! Perhaps make that a tangible reward – do something nice for yourself. Take care.

    Like

    • Jinx · July 31, 2015

      Thank you!! I do need to be kinder to myself, however, that has been a lifelong struggle. Still working on it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: A New Reality | writing out depression

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