I’ve had so much to say but no desire to write. I became so discouraged when I learned I didn’t get hired for the position I wanted but not long after I had another interview for a different position. This one didn’t pay as much but would still have been a promotion and out of my current office. It was a great interview; a panel of three asked me the questions. Because it’s a government type job they have to ask very specific questions, but as we talked they would get off topic and ask for more details. This was unlike any of the other government interviews I had ever had. I felt really good after. I know that because there is a lot bureaucratic bullshit they have to go through it can take several weeks before they offer the job. But since they haven’t called any of my references every day that passes I lose hope.
In the meantime life goes on. For as much as I would like to take some time to save some money, relax and maybe go on vacation, unfortunately, that just isn’t going to happen. Our lease is up in July and though we have only been at this location a year, it has been one year too many. This year my foreclosure falls off and I will be able to get out of renting and buy a place. Now, just to find a nice enough place we can afford on just my income. Unfortunately, I live in a state where the real estate market is always high. I would consider moving out of state if it weren’t for my father’s unpredictable health. I’m ok getting a small place since it’s just the two of us, but the area needs to be safe. It’s maddening that safe = more expensive, but then that’s a whole other tangent.
As July gets closer and we continue to fail at finding a place we like I feel the weight of stress increasing. It’s a tangible pressure on my shoulders that if I’m not careful will stop me from functioning all together. So every day I go to my necessary job, continue to try and eat healthier, walk or do karate and hope that I don’t crumble. I’m now functioning in a constant state of mild anxiety and I just hope that the eating better and being more active gets me though this.