It’s been a week since my interview and, maybe I’m just being inpatient, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. I tried to focus on my current goals this weekend of eating better and being more active. But, ultimately the idea of getting a new job was just too overwhelming. I attempted to remain realistic, telling myself I did the best I could and that if it doesn’t happen it’s OK. BAH! I don’t know who I was trying to fool. I’ve been wanting to get out of where I am for too long; this interview was like a horrible tease. Since none of my references have been called I’m guessing the position went to someone else and I’m slowly, mentally falling apart. Yesterday, I forced myself to take my dogs on a very long walk in the hopes that physical activity would ease these feelings of disappointment and sadness. I came home, showered, and ended up taking an even longer nap.
It’s lucky I began this “eating healthier thing” before all of this because it’s times like these I would have typically found comfort in some really unhealthy, probably deep fried, foods. I can physically feel the depression starting to set in. Aching all over, more frequent headaches, low tolerance for pretty much everything (my poor BF), desire to sleep more, feeling hopeless and discouraged.
What I wouldn’t give to be like most people during times like these. To simply be disappointed maybe even a bit sad, but without the all consuming thoughts of what I should have or could have done differently weighing me down. Accepting that other opportunities will come along rather than feeling like the biggest, least qualified to do anything looser so why bother trying attitude that keeps creeping up.
I’m debating on contacting one of the people that interviewed me and asking what I could have done differently, or what experience they may have been looking for. Guess I will do that later this week if I can keep it together.