Today is Day 1 of my weight loss fad. I’ve been trying to work up to this day by eating healthier and eating less all week. I’m hoping that small effort helps me on this 30 day trip.
Strange things I’m learning about myself:
I can be totally full but hungry for something unhealthy.
I can enjoy healthy things but get tired of them very quickly.
Just like most everything else in my life, I’ve now stared to over think about food.
I’m more addicted to caffeine than I thought, missing one day just about debilitated me with a headache from hell.
I don’t respond well to guilt as a motivation. My boyfriend tried that earlier this week and I not only wanted to rip his head off I wanted to forget this entire effort before I started.
These are probably the main components that have stopped me from ever trying a weight loss plan in the past. Most women my age have been on numerous diets of some form or another. I’ve always been tempted but knew I had a problem denying myself food I love. Ironically I’ve used my depression as a justification, e.g. nothing else makes me happy so I should at least allow myself this loaded baked potato.
Now my depression has become a reason I wanted to at least give this method a shot. I hate how I look, I’m tired and unmotivated so I’m not physically active enough thereby making me gain weight so I hate how I look and then I feel more depressed. Yes, it’s an ugly vicious cycle that anyone from the outside looking in would say it’s a stupid way to live.
So here I am, drinking this “shake” from a “fad diet” I once swore I would never do. Desperate times call for desperate measures.