We were invited to a party last night. Now this wasn’t just any party, this was an “Ugly Sweater” party. Fortunately, BF and I had bought really tacky holiday sweater vests a couple of years ago. I thought it strange to have a party on a Monday, but I figured with the holidays perhaps it was a day that worked well for her and her other friends. Not many of our very small circle of people we know ever throw parties so this was a rare treat. She sent us the e-vite via Facebook, which I guess is the latest way to send invitations. The RSVP is a simple click of a button. You can choose Yes, No or Maybe. Since I’m on vacation this week I clicked Yes and we were set.
This friend has two small kids and I mentioned this to my boyfriend. He said “There’s no way they will be there. This is a party.” 😐
As I was getting dressed I knew jeans would be fine but I didn’t want to wear casual shoes. This was going to be our first and only holiday party. I wanted to be a bit gussied up. So I put on my heeled, knee-length boots. This short chick was finally…well, a taller short chick. I knew my feet would be sore but what’s a little pain to look festive. Wore a long-sleeved black blouse to wear under the colorful tacky vest, added a cute necklace, hooped earrings, some cute rings and I was feeling pretty good.
We donned our ugly sweaters and were off. We arrived “fashionably” late because in the past when we’ve arrived on time for parties we were usually the first ones there and the host would still be scrambling to get ready. As we came upon the house I noticed it was the darkest, gloomiest, house on the block. I asked my BF if we got the date wrong. He said he knew it was the right day so we knocked. Our hostess answered. She was in jeans, a Disney holiday sweatshirt (not a sweater, nor ugly), and tattered tennis shoes. Her hair was in a messy bun (not trendy, cute messy but out of the shower didn’t brush messy) on top of her head. I’m still thinking we got the date wrong. She welcomes us in and beyond the threshold I hear the laughter and screaming of her kids.
They are playing a board game with the two other friends of hers that came. No one is wearing a sweater of any kind. Her own boyfriend is still wearing the white t-shirt and pants he wears as a uniform to work. Everyone looked like they had just come from work, put on their most comfortable clothes and were planning an evening on the couch.
“Help yourselves to food on the table and drinks in the fridge” she calls to us as she returns to her game of ‘Bouncy’. Food is cold pizza, still in the jar nacho cheese, bowl of chips, a fruit tray, and cupcakes. Drinks are soda and water.
This was NOT a holiday party. As we were driving home this was all we could talk about. ME: “Is this what parties have turned into?” BF: “No, I just don’t think she knows what the hell she is doing.” ME: “Why give a party a theme if you don’t plan on following the fucking theme?” BF: “Who knows.” ME: “I cannot believe she didn’t get a babysitter!” BF “I know!” ME: “I cannot believe she had no alcohol.” BF: “Good thing TJ brought some, even though he came late.” ME: “Yes, TJ saved that piece of shit party.”
Today I feel like writing TJ a heartfelt thank you note. Dear TJ, Thank you for bringing alcohol to our incompetent friends party. If you had not arrived we would have left hours earlier. You were our personal Santa for the evening!
Lesson learned: Always ask- Will there be kids? Is the dress casual or homeless chic (ok, that last one may be a bit offensive)? Is this a BYOB? and Eat before you go unless you know the person knows how to put out a decent spread.