Regret, A Useless Thing

Regret is a heavy and useless thing to carry around. At least with remorse there is a possibility of apology, or some kind reconciliation. To me regret, stems from a choice or choices made that in no way can be altered. The deed is done and the consequences must be lived with.

It’s all well and good for others to say, “Live life with no regrets” or “I regret nothing because my choices made me who I am today.” Good for them, hurray they can be proud of who they are and where they are in life.

Mentally I know regret is pointless, I tell myself nothing can be done and I need to move on. I’ve done mental exercises to alleviate regret in the hopes of seeing the silver lining that I’m sure is there somewhere. But 15+ years later I still cannot let it go.

I made stupid choices, I was carless, I can never make amends. That time was such an enormous turning point for me that I’ve no doubt I would be a different person had I just been smarter. Would I be happier, I don’t know. With clinical depression there’s just no telling. The problem is I use that time in my life to perpetuate the self-loathing I struggle with so often.  The unknown is always brighter than the reality.

There are people that I miss so much from that time long ago. But as time passes people change, who knows if they are at all the same.  Just looking at Facebook I can see the radical changes some people’s lives have taken. Would they still be a part of my life had I lived life differently?  I made up this silly poem as I remembered the past:

I miss the You of yesteryear

I miss the You of then not now

I miss the You of might have been

You are not the You I knew

Nor will you ever be again

And then it became:

I miss the Me of yesteryear

I miss the Me of then not now

I miss the Me of might have been

I am not the Me I knew

Nor will I ever be again

Then I cried.

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8 comments

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic · December 5, 2014

    I think focusing on regret or let it encompass your life, that indeed is a waste. However you can use regret (just like many other emotions) in a positive manner if you are able to honestly examine it and then take away the lessons learned. Regret, if used properly, can be a positive tool for growth.

    Like

  2. Bor Bor Igmus · December 5, 2014

    I agree, regret is a useless emotion, but insidious and very hard to fight. But the poem is beautiful (and I am NOT a poetry person.) If you can channel you’re regret into that kind of writing, that would be making great lemonade.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jinx0923 · December 5, 2014

      Thank you! I appreciate you saying that 😀

      Like

  3. fishrobber69 · December 6, 2014

    first time visitor … Wow, this post really hits me hard. I have so many regrets for stupid actions and poorly chosen words. These regrets have built up going on 40 years now. Like you, I know I need to move on, but my inner voice keeps bringing up the past. … I also have discovered that my friends in the past may not be my friends now. They have changed, and I know I have changed, for better or worse. I just avoid Fakebook as a result. … love the poem.

    Like

    • jinx0923 · December 6, 2014

      I’m sorry you live with regret as well. I wish I had some amazing, profound words that could help you out, but as you’ve read I’m still searching for those words myself. All we can do is learn from those mistakes and continue to grow in the process. Thank you, I really appreciate your feedback 🙂

      Like

  4. Cat · December 7, 2014

    Regret can feel soul destroying, but it’s pretty pointless. I’ve many things in my past that I should regret, but I have enough issues in my life without allowing this to drag me down any further. Awareness is always the first step to change 😉

    Like

    • jinx0923 · December 7, 2014

      Yes, and I’ve been on that first step a long time. UGH. It’s for sure a work in progress 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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