Tough week

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Along with all the other fun things depression has to offer, I often struggle with distinguishing if I’m just mentally sick or physically sick as well. For me, my depression comes with its share of somatic symptoms such as stomach-aches, headaches, sore muscles and fatigue. This week was especially difficult as my physical symptoms seemed to be far worse than usual. Not flu or cold necessarily, those can be pretty obvious, but continuous stomach ailments and really sore muscles. So am I actually sick with something, or is my depression just trying to kill me? I can never tell which came first, was I depressed and that manifested into physical symptoms or am I sick and feeling depressed as a result of that? Ohhh depression, you sneaky little jerk.

As with any ailment, physical or mental, my motivation is shot. I missed a lot of work and fell behind in my duties. What sucks is that the stress of knowing that, creates more mental anguish, thereby exacerbating the physical issues. What a friggin mess! Just writing it out and reading the words, it’s absolutely ridiculous! The catch 22 of mental health issues is astounding. Should I bother going to the doctor? Even if it’s a virus there is nothing she can do. So, for now I will continue to “rest” and hope that it passes. BLAH this week 😛

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9 comments

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic · November 22, 2014

    Take care & try to enjoy the holiday!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lonely Little Acorn · November 22, 2014

    Resting is probably the best thing for you to do right now, maybe try to read a good book or something that always makes me feel better! X

    Liked by 1 person

  3. listentothebabe · November 23, 2014

    “Ohhh depression, you sneaky little jerk”… you pestilence, you lying whore, you malevolent bastard, you Buddha…

    Like

  4. justal55 · November 23, 2014

    I completely understand this. I often battle the need to call in to work because I’m not feeling well….and it’s not a cold or flu that I’m dealing with. It’s overwhelming emotions translating into pain and fatigue…or at least that’s how it feels.

    Like

    • jinx0923 · November 23, 2014

      Yes,that is exactly it. It’s like the tears that come pouring out because the body need to release the emotions that are building up. I would rather it stick with just tears than feeling sick.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Cat · November 24, 2014

    My depression also emerges as physical symptoms. I used to be back and forward to the Doctor, convinced I had some hidden illness. I would hate it when the Doc said the same stupid comment each time, “It’s how you’re feeling” (meaning mentally). One thing I learned was to try accept it and not give myself a hard time for feeling poorly or for falling behind, that only adds to the distress.

    Like

    • jinx0923 · November 24, 2014

      For a long time I thought surly there was some hidden physical illness the doctors were missing. hahaha Yes, acceptance is definitely something I still struggle with.

      Liked by 1 person

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