I Am Friggin Crazy

It all started Sunday morning. I was feeling ‘ok’, got my coffee and decided to check out the latest posts on WordPress. The most prominent posts I see are from aopinionatedman. He posts on a regular basis and typically several times a day. Aside from his name sakes “opinion” blogs, he also allows his vast number of followers to use his blog space as a way to network and advertise their own blogs. I enjoy taking advantage of this opportunity as I’ve found some really great bloggers I would never have found on my own.

Sunday’s networking post was asking bloggers to post their top 10 posts within his comments section. This way his followers can easily click directly to posts the blogger may be most proud of and decide if they are interested or not. Simple right? I go through my posts and find only 3 I think may give a good idea what I typically write about: depression, infertility, and life in general. I copy and paste the links into the comments section and hit the confirmation button. I then click one of the links to make sure they are working. This is where the world begins to crumble. The links I’ve posted don’t take me to my published posts, they take me to the ‘edits’ section of my posts. I think, perhaps this was just because I am the owner of the account. My brain is now trying to rationalize something I refuse to believe has happened. I take a closer look at my copied link and sure enough, it has the word ‘edit’ in it. I’ve now posted an easy access link to my personal edit page so that anyone can go in and change, delete, etc. my deeply personal blog.

Panic rushes through me, surly if I can post something I can just as easily delete it! I search and search only to learn that I can’t do a damn thing. The owner of the accounts controls everything once you’ve posted a comment. WHAT? WHY? Even on Facebook if you post something on someone’s wall you regret later you can delete it !! Anger, disbelief and cursing ensue. I then find aopinionatedman’s email address and send a series of three emails. The first being completely blank because in my panic instead of writing anything in the body of the email I just put in a subject and hit send. The second was a self-depreciating, “hey I did something stupid can you please delete” message. I try to sound calm, I try to sound normal. I let some time pass.

Once some panic eased the imagination took control. Rational me said, ‘Relax, the people that use WordPress are good people. They will respect my privacy and once they realize my error they will quickly get out of it and read the posts for what they are.’ Crazy me said, ‘Oh my god you are a complete idiot! Some crazy person (more crazy than me) is going to steal your account and use your posts as their own. They will change what you’ve written and you will look like a bigger idiot! You don’t deserve to continue writing; you need to just delete this account. Your heart and soul has been opened for the world to manipulate how can you go on?’ Crazy me won this battle.

By now I’m unable to function. I’m crying like a moron. I’m staring at my email in the hopes the blog’s owner lets me know it’s been taken care of. It’s only been about an hour. I send my third email, this one making my desperation and irrational state of mind clear. A few minutes after the last message I receive a very simple, kind email that says it’s not a problem and the post has been deleted. The world did not end, no one went in and did anything to the posts (that I could see) and I did not die. Will I ever be able to post links again, I do not know I may be too crazy :-(.

Here is link to his post: http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/11/03/wordpress-meet-and-greet-3-all-bloggers-welcome/