Venting in hopes of clarity

I love my boyfriend. He is generous, kind and hardworking…for the most part. My father’s praise of him, that I wrote about in my last post, was all very true. But right now I’m frustrated and annoyed with him. Since he lost his job and decided to return to school we discussed that he would be able to do more to help around the house. School hasn’t started yet and my dad is not calling for help on a daily basis. He has a lot of time. The first few weeks he was making the bed, sweeping the floor, cleaning the dishes, taking the dogs to the park and making dinner. I found this to be a decent, if not perfect, compromise since I was working 9 hour days and paying all the bills.

This week I noticed the bed wasn’t getting made anymore, and he asked me to make dinner after I got home from work one night…he claims it’s because I know how to make turkey burgers better. On Monday I had asked him to please clean the toilets. He said he couldn’t find the brush to clean them as he had been looking for it to do just that. I suggested he go ahead and buy a new one since they are not that expensive. Yesterday when I get home from work, I see he finally did buy a brush, and it was sitting all neat and clean still in the bag from the store. Ok…I didn’t say anything. Then I ask him what’s for dinner. He responds, “Oh, I thought you could make that fried thing…”. Now I’m pissed. I tell him I’m not making that we can just eat left overs. He can clearly see I’m upset and asks what’s wrong. I asked him what he did all day. He said, ‘nothing.’ Well that was certainly obvious.

This lead to a very heated argument and us sleeping in different locations last night. I’m so angry I can hardly see strait. I’ve been trying to look at this situation objectively and right now I can’t. Maybe he’s depressed, maybe he’s lazy, maybe I’m reading too much into this. I don’t know. What I do know is part of me wants to call my dad and tell him how this “GEM” (as he described him) is behaving. Ok, that would be childish and petty…but dang it it’s tempting!



  1. Cat · November 10, 2014

    Your concerns are very valid….huh…what a cheek wanting you to make dinner when you’re out at work. Sometimes tensions and arguments are not the best way to settle something like this. Would it help to sit down and speak to him? If you’re out working and he’s at home most of the time, it seems only fair he would take more of an active role in house chores


    • jinx0923 · November 10, 2014

      Yes, thank you. We did have a very clear discussion later that day. It’s really difficult to take the emotion out of things when there is so much stress involved. But I think we were able to come up with some reasonable solutions. Let’s hope they stick 🙂


  2. pixie · November 11, 2014

    Hang in there. Maybe wait till the anger passes and talk to the boy directly? Hope you feeling better.


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