Mental Health and Dating

Thanks to social media and the internet in general, there has been a huge increase of dating sites and aps. There’s always a ton of spam in my email regarding finding that “perfect someone” and commercials showing people who met their soul mates thanks to answering a few hundred compatibility questions.

Before my current BF I dated a man that was diagnosed bi-polar with psychotic features. I didn’t know anything about the disorder at the time and I didn’t find out he had it until a year into the relationship. This was a caustic mix of my major depressive disorder symptoms and his rapid cycling ups and downs. Because of his psychotic features he would often believe my depressive isolation was because I was having an affair. If I didn’t want “attention” from him I must be “getting attention” from someone else.

Remembering how completely incompatible we were I thought there should be dating site where all the symptoms, diagnosis, addictions, and over all craziness was clearly laid out in the open. I called it mentalhealthmatchup.com. It would save people from having the startling discovery well into the relationship and you wouldn’t have to struggle with finding a way to disclose or explain your diagnosis to someone that may not understand.

Then the flood gates of my imagination were opened. I created a place where people could say, ‘well my disorder is agoraphobia so I’m going to check out this major depressive person since they won’t want to get out and do much anyway.’ I imagined compatibility graphs, like the ones they do with astrological signs. If you have this diagnosis you will be driven less crazy with people having this diagnosis. The site would also show who to stay away from e.g. codependent people should stay away from borderline personality disorders etc. I was making up all kinds of possibilities and match ups. I cracked myself up, but also thought dang that could actually be really helpful!

Logically, I know this isn’t a realistic idea. Just a few reasons being 1. Most of us don’t want to share our disorders openly thanks to stigma and ignorant people, 2. People would make incorrect assumptions and judgments, and 3. I don’t know if we should be defined by our mental health issues.

But I’m all for possibilities, so who knows what the future may hold…

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2 comments

  1. listentothebabe · November 5, 2014

    haha! this is hilarious. i like your idea. and of course we can sort of define ourselves by our mental illness, it does affect our lives and change us. people who have diabetes tell the people they are dating, people who have cancer same thing, etc etc. it’s the stigma. and the fact that people with mental illness are a pain in the arse to live with. i know i am. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • jinx0923 · November 6, 2014

      Exactly!! If only we could treat it like any other disorder or disease.

      Like

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